Twenty-nine years ago this summer I was decorating my first apartment.   Hamilton and I were engaged and we added an apartment above his shop for our first home.   We lived there for nine years, it was rent-free which allowed me to finish school and stay home with my babies.   We only needed one car because Hamilton just walked downstairs to work.   After we moved to town the apartment was continuously occupied by family members, friends and employees, giving them a rent-free space to live.   Now we are back on the farm and want to use the apartment as office and guest space but the interior is pretty tired so I’m in the process of renovating.

As I am back in the space for the first time in 20 years memories of that time of my life have come flooding back, almost like watching a movie.   As I started to take down the 80’s wallpaper I thought of Aunt Julie.   Hamilton’s cousin Tony built the apartment and his Aunt Julie offered to teach me to wallpaper the bathroom.    I was so excited to make my little place as cute as possible.

Over the years I would periodically call Aunt Julie.  There were many times I needed her gentle support.  As in most families, I have a couple of close relatives who can be very difficult.  Aunt Julie was the one person who really understood.   We never talked badly about anyone but I knew she knew what I was going through.  I just needed to be reassured that although there was nothing that could be done someone saw me.

Around this same time I was student teaching.   I had a very difficult supervising teacher who was not allowed another student teacher after me.  Those were hard days,  I came home to my only friend, General Hospital on the VCR.   Every day I would take a few students to a reading specialist named Karen.  She was always kind and went out of her way to speak to me.  We never spoke of my difficult teacher but once again I knew that she knew.   Yet again someone saw me.   That was all I needed to soldier on.

I’m so glad to have these memories of kind women who helped a young twentysomething negotiate tough interpersonal relationships, not by advice but by just simply being there. I hope that I have passed on this kindness to someone else.   Please thank a friend or relative that has done that for you.  Aunt Julie has passed on but this week I’m remembering to say a prayer for her and her sweet kindness.

1980’s wallpaper on the way to the trash

For this I come—to open your hearts to the Light—-Mother Meera

A few weeks ago was listening to the radio show “On Being”, it airs on PBS in my town every Sunday afternoon. (www.onbeing.org) The host Krista Tippet was interviewing Gordon Hempton who calls himself an acoustic ecologist.   Gordon has spent his life listening to the sounds of the planet and searching for places that do not have any man made sounds.   He says there are only a handful of places in the US that are completely silent.  Noise pollution is everywhere all the time to the point we don’t hear it any more.

The great mystics and spiritual teachers have always taught that silence is where we meet the Divine.  In the modern world there is no more silence.   The TV is on all day long, the phones are making noise, we walk with iPods, cars and lawn mowers are a constant roar.  How can we possibly find a place remote enough to listen to our Soul?   Unless we stop and really listen we don’t realize how noisy and distracted we are.

I now live in the country but there is still road noise, airplanes, air conditioners, alarms, phones and a television.   The first six months I lived in this house there was a TV on constantly in my kitchen to distract my disabled mother-in-law and her caregiver.  I finally started turning it off during breakfast and the silence was like a tonic.  No news, no cooking shows or crime dramas, just quiet with my morning coffee.

The great Indian guru/avatar Mother Meera gives Darshan (meeting with the spiritual master) in silence.   Last week I went to Boone, North Carolina for my third Darshan.  You enter the room in silence and you do not make any noise the entire 2 hour session.   One by one each person slowly makes their way to her and sits at her feet.   She then touches your head and unties the karmic knots and then looks into your eyes giving light to every part of your being.   No words are ever spoken.  Mother Meera knows exactly what you need and bestows a blessing on you.    After the entire room has had an individual blessing she then gives a silent group blessing and then leaves.

Nothing needs to be said.  No one’s egos are fed by telling their story.  No words can convey the highest teachings.    She brings the Divine to each person equally in that sacred silence.

I do not speak but my force changes people completely.   The power of the Divine works in the silence and will change things according to your aim and what you ask for.  Sometimes I can give immediately what you have requested.  Sometimes it takes time. —  Mother Meera

www.mothermeera.com

My Twin Anne

In everyday life I have two brothers and a sister, but in my cosmic world I have a twin. I wrote earlier about my cosmic mother Rachael, her daughter Anne and I were born the very same day.

The synchronicities between our two lives are really very stunning. We were both born April 28, 1964, 9 hours and 11 minutes apart. Anne was born in New Zealand, and I was born in New Jersey—we came in on the same boat but got off in different ports. Anne was two months premature and wasn’t expected to live. She must have had a good reason to be born that day.

She is Anne and my first name is Nancy; they are the same name and mean “grace”. We are both married to men named Hamilton. My husband’s first name is Hamilton and her husband’s last name is Hamilton. We both had Mastiffs—a very unique and extra large breed of dog. Rigby and Roo looked exactly alike.

We are both trained as school teachers. Anne had a wonderful career as a teacher and became an administrator. Anne and I both made pottery as a hobby. We both have two daughters but Anne also has two sons.

Sadly Anne died of cancer a year ago today. I think about Anne often and sometimes feel that I need to live extra fully for her. I wanted her to know that I will take care of her mother and be there for her beautiful daughters. I wish I had the chance to spend more time with her but at least I spent the night at her house twice and she was a wonderful cook and hostess.

I didn’t know her well, but yet I did, as I heard many stories from her mother. Anne will always be part of my life; you can never be separated from a twin much less a cosmic twin. Two babies born the same day but separated by half a world somehow met and are friends and have so much in common. I know for sure the Universe has a plan, nothing is by chance.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  I was simply going to what I thought was a lecture about angels.  More importantly I needed a break from my rambunctious children, so I went to the monthly meeting of Spiritual Frontiers Fellowship, an organization of teachers sent around the country to lecture on spiritual and metaphysical topics.    Pre-internet days, traveling teachers and books were the only way to get spiritual information.  How things have changed.

I went innocently to the meeting December 5, 1997.   The teacher was a Medium (someone who can receive messages from loved ones who have passed away) from England named Rachael Salley.  We sang some Christmas Carols and she read the Christmas story from the Bible, all very enjoyable.   Then she started to give messages from the other side.   ‘Hummm, I’ve never seen this before, and this isn’t about angels”.  With an open mind I took in this new experience, for this was before John Edwards, James Van Praagh and the Long Island Medium, mediumship was not widely known in the US.

I was good with it all until the last message.   It was for me.  Wait, I didn’t know anyone who had died and isn’t this supposed to be an angel lecture.       I did know someone who had died, the 10 year old grandson of an acquaintance had passed away the year before of leukemia. I had met him once and had helped organize food for his funeral.  During the message this little boy asked over and over for me to tell his grandmother that he was ok.  After the message I rushed to Rachael and took her hands.  It was an emotional experience for both of us.

When you are asked by Spirit to do something, you better do it or you might not be asked again.   I wanted to be asked again so I knew I needed to deliver the message.   But couldn’t I have gotten a bit easier assignment?   It was not going to be an easy message to deliver and I needed vast amounts of courage.    So the next day I did go to the angel lecture, for the only way I could build my courage was to spend more time with Rachael.  I did get the courage and delivered the message two days later, it was well received and I knew I did what needed to be done.   I couldn’t speak about the experience for years.

I guess I should have known that there was going to be more to this story.   The night before the lecture I dreamed about Rachael.  In the dream she touched me on the shoulder and said “I’m waking up your 500 year old memory”, she then touched me on the other shoulder and said “I’m waking up your 1000 year old memory”.   The day of the angel lecture she and I discovered that I had been born the very same day as her daughter Anne, nine hours apart on opposite sides of the globe, cosmic twins.

I kept in contact with Rachael and had a couple of readings with her over the next couple of year, and I would write to her on my birthday and Anne’s birthday.  I always felt a connection but when she was in town she stayed with her Spiritual Frontiers hostess Tollie.   When Tollie unexpectedly died in 2003 I wrote Rachael and offered to be her hostess so she could continue working in this area.   She accepted my invitation and I arranged  a visit in June.  When I went to the airport to pick her up I wasn’t totally sure I would recognize her, I had seen her so few times.    During that visit we realized how connected we were spiritually.  I became a spiritual daughter to her and she became my cosmic mother.   Nine years and many visits later we are truly mother and daughter, chosen by the heart and destiny.   We have traveled together to England, Egypt and Mexico.  I met her daughter and family in England and feel like a sister to her son.

Spiritual families feel like Home, we need their comfort, support and understanding.   They will never replace the connections to our human families but add a depth of knowing and connection that is dear to our hearts. Recently I have welcomed a few more members to my cosmic family.  I cherish my spiritual family and know that we support each other every step of the way.